Mary, this is one of THE clearest explanations about how it happens. Excellent writing!
Another thought occurred to me yesterday as I re-read CNN’s comments on your uncle’s Feb 8th ‘speech’ (diatribe) in Palm Beach…. they were CORRECT that he LIED about Pelosi causing the insurrection. HOWEVER, what I think they missed was that he admitted it WAS AN INSURRECTION.
Could this be used to settle the question: “was it an insurrection?”
He said it himself. In a lie, he provides the truth?
Holy shit! I related to you stack so much that it made me cringe. And thank you for sharing it, btw.
This past Thanksgiving we invited a friend of over 30 years over that had just lost his wife to cancer a few months earlier. Now, I have said it many times that I liked it so much better when I didn't know people's political leanings or religious beliefs and that was all of the years before Czar Cheeto ran for president. And I have lost a lot of long time friends because of it.
This guy we had over, while I was in the kitchen cooking a meal that no one else invited him over to enjoy (for reasons of their own and similar to mine) was in my living room talking shit. The first subject he started with, I let slide figuring he was just blowing off steam and I can't remember exactly what it was, but when the word "Faggot" came out of his mouth I stepped into our living room and said that was enough and that kind of rhetoric will not be allowed in this house. I also told him that he was free to leave at anytime. I believe that the first thing he was talking shit about was Biden and it was brief, like he was testing the waters, so to speak.
Anyway, he will never cross the threshold of my door anymore.
Ahhh, having relatives from Queens, NY, I used to have what I would call the "Archie Bunker Test." If they acted like Archie Bunker, then I would gradually have them fade out of my life, little by little.
Unfortunately, I didn't realize how racist and hateful some of my relatives were until Obama came to power, and even moreso when your uncle came down the escalator. Suddenly, their masks of politeness were gone, and they revealed who they really were
It has saved me a great deal of money on Christmas presents since I cut them out of my life. The relatives who are more open minded I have kept in my life. The rest are wished into the cornfield.
Thank you, Mary, for continuing to speak out. And please take good care of yourself. Saving democracy is going to be a tough slog so some escapist literature may be just what we all need. And keeping the focus on yourself will benefit us all. Peace and Love.
We need to remind ourselves that it is UNKIND to withhold constructive criticism from people who are racist, bigoted, prejudiced, or sexist. Being kind - which is mentioned on Facebook at least twice a day - does not mean being quiet or accommodating. Silence is complicity. Standing our ground can be done without name calling, anger, condescension, or superiority. Moral courage requires direct communication delivered from a place of sincerity and integrity. Some will still flap about and rant, but as we saw from Fani Willis, moral courage wins the day. Mary, thank you for all you do. Try Edith Wharton’s novels if you haven’t already completed them.
This seared me to my soul. You must have been specifically chosen and prepared to do this - your mission -as few humans have the experiences you have .You bring your love, your intellect and passion and transmute it all for good. The fact that YOU emerged from that says anything is possible. Thank you.
I grew up using accommodation, when my relatives said things that made me uncomfortable. I thought, they’re old, obviously set in their ways, anything to keep the peace. Thank you for putting it so succinctly and allowing me roses that I’m not the only one. I learned a new truth about myself. I will do my best to follow Maya’s truth and wisdom.
I didn’t know where you were going with this and I was just pleased to find you are a reader of books - then you brought it home strong. I’m a southerner who has gradually become more accommodating, not in my politics but in my acquaintances. Thank you for the wake up.
I will, number one, need to read some Henry James. But more importantly,I didn’t see where your thoughts would be going in the post. It was impactful. Thanks for the insight and the suggestion. It is time to get our collective house in order.
Mary, this is one of THE clearest explanations about how it happens. Excellent writing!
Another thought occurred to me yesterday as I re-read CNN’s comments on your uncle’s Feb 8th ‘speech’ (diatribe) in Palm Beach…. they were CORRECT that he LIED about Pelosi causing the insurrection. HOWEVER, what I think they missed was that he admitted it WAS AN INSURRECTION.
Could this be used to settle the question: “was it an insurrection?”
He said it himself. In a lie, he provides the truth?
Take it out of the house …. and senate, too.
An essay that is absolutely beautiful, powerful, and true. Thank you.
Holy shit! I related to you stack so much that it made me cringe. And thank you for sharing it, btw.
This past Thanksgiving we invited a friend of over 30 years over that had just lost his wife to cancer a few months earlier. Now, I have said it many times that I liked it so much better when I didn't know people's political leanings or religious beliefs and that was all of the years before Czar Cheeto ran for president. And I have lost a lot of long time friends because of it.
This guy we had over, while I was in the kitchen cooking a meal that no one else invited him over to enjoy (for reasons of their own and similar to mine) was in my living room talking shit. The first subject he started with, I let slide figuring he was just blowing off steam and I can't remember exactly what it was, but when the word "Faggot" came out of his mouth I stepped into our living room and said that was enough and that kind of rhetoric will not be allowed in this house. I also told him that he was free to leave at anytime. I believe that the first thing he was talking shit about was Biden and it was brief, like he was testing the waters, so to speak.
Anyway, he will never cross the threshold of my door anymore.
Ahhh, having relatives from Queens, NY, I used to have what I would call the "Archie Bunker Test." If they acted like Archie Bunker, then I would gradually have them fade out of my life, little by little.
Unfortunately, I didn't realize how racist and hateful some of my relatives were until Obama came to power, and even moreso when your uncle came down the escalator. Suddenly, their masks of politeness were gone, and they revealed who they really were
It has saved me a great deal of money on Christmas presents since I cut them out of my life. The relatives who are more open minded I have kept in my life. The rest are wished into the cornfield.
Thank you, Mary, for continuing to speak out. And please take good care of yourself. Saving democracy is going to be a tough slog so some escapist literature may be just what we all need. And keeping the focus on yourself will benefit us all. Peace and Love.
Mary how deeply you’ve shared.
A Power Greater than ourselves is present.
I am so grateful for your work and your dedication to the truth.
We need to remind ourselves that it is UNKIND to withhold constructive criticism from people who are racist, bigoted, prejudiced, or sexist. Being kind - which is mentioned on Facebook at least twice a day - does not mean being quiet or accommodating. Silence is complicity. Standing our ground can be done without name calling, anger, condescension, or superiority. Moral courage requires direct communication delivered from a place of sincerity and integrity. Some will still flap about and rant, but as we saw from Fani Willis, moral courage wins the day. Mary, thank you for all you do. Try Edith Wharton’s novels if you haven’t already completed them.
God, yeah! Take it all out of our house, once and for all!!
This seared me to my soul. You must have been specifically chosen and prepared to do this - your mission -as few humans have the experiences you have .You bring your love, your intellect and passion and transmute it all for good. The fact that YOU emerged from that says anything is possible. Thank you.
I grew up using accommodation, when my relatives said things that made me uncomfortable. I thought, they’re old, obviously set in their ways, anything to keep the peace. Thank you for putting it so succinctly and allowing me roses that I’m not the only one. I learned a new truth about myself. I will do my best to follow Maya’s truth and wisdom.
Mary, you finished your novel, kept us on the edge of our seats with your Substack.....AND read James' novels????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Thank you. Well said. And the quote from Maya Angelou is perfection. I needed that.
I didn’t know where you were going with this and I was just pleased to find you are a reader of books - then you brought it home strong. I’m a southerner who has gradually become more accommodating, not in my politics but in my acquaintances. Thank you for the wake up.
I will, number one, need to read some Henry James. But more importantly,I didn’t see where your thoughts would be going in the post. It was impactful. Thanks for the insight and the suggestion. It is time to get our collective house in order.
Brilliant! Simply, clearly brilliant.