I'd like to comment on your comment on commenting, Mary, but I am too intimated by the brilliance of what you wrote.
So, I will just quote your last paragraph:
"I also want to remind (some of) you that this is not a forum to impose your beliefs on other people. It is not a place to judge them or to force unwanted advice on them no matter how well-intentioned. Sometimes people just need to vent. Sometimes we just want to be listened to. Sometimes we just want to be supported. If you feel the need to jump in and share wisdom earned from your own perhaps similar experiences, take a beat and think it through first. If you decide to offer an opinion or an analysis and are rebuffed, don’t take it personally, rather take it as a cue that that is not what is needed. “The Good in Us” is not a place to analyze each other or to force an agenda on anyone. This is a community in which we can share only if the space to do so remains safe. And keeping it safe is up to all of us."
I’ve been a wreck and have made thoughtless comments for which I’m terribly sorry. My excuse is the pain I am dealing with and the news I received on Friday that I have cancer.
Well said. Cruelty doesn't achieve anything except itself. Never a justifiable way to make a point.
(Also, I always feel very comfortable commenting because I know absolutely nothing at all, and everyone knows it. And I don't have beliefs, because that would involve knowing something, and I'll never disagree with anyone for the same reason. I do have an agenda, but it's completely empty. As is my head. Thanks.)
Thank you for your comment on commenting. People do need to think things through and you don't always have to comment when you disagree with someone else.
I’ve seen quite a bit of opinions here some of which concern me For a while now I have taken a break from Twitter and decided that a deep dive into educating myself along with traveling to visit friends family and of course my work has payed dividends I’ve learned that through listening to others is all one can do in this time that some people are beyond the point of no return that it isn’t okay to be loud toxic and mean A lot of people I’ve come in contact with in my daily travels and social interactions don’t even realize the bias that shows in their comments So I try not to take it personal and say to myself your trying to hard even at just wanting to find new possibilities or meaningful ways to form new acquaintances now more than ever I am reticent However I am hopeful I’m always hopeful What all this boils down to for me is everyday life how get on in our day to day how we choose who we choose and what lesson we learn At some point in each of our lives what matters most is how we treat each other This has been a deeply moving time in my life for I have won then lost and found self care self control therapy and healing I’m no longer offended by people who say to me what do you do as to take measures of my life my work in comparison to theirs I’m me and you are you if we find ourselves on a happy medium then that’s a good place . That’s where we find The Good in Us
Mary, I am so grateful for your insight and common sense, as well as that of the Nerd Avengers. Such a great group of intelligent people who know what they are talking about. The only good thing to come out of your uncle’s attempted takeover of all we hold dear is that we get your wisdom and humanity.
I find it supremely interesting, that the writers who are currently shaping public square discourse, are women..... Beautifully strong, rapier sharp intellect & cellular level kindness. Joyce Vance, Roxane Gay, E. Jean & of course, Mary. I am soooo grateful that it is their voices I hear each day, with gentle reminders, that first & foremost, we are human beings, sharing a common experience, in an intimate space. With gratitude.
Hello Maureen I want to send you positive vibes for healing and well wishes for you I’ve always enjoy our conversations here from day one No need to apologize
Now that I've met my new doctor I feel he will be good for me, even if things don't go too right. His immediate response was to ask me all about it and to explain what he will be looking for, what my history is, etc. He talks with his patient, and he is not in a hurry. Thanks everyone for your comments. It really helped.
Thank you Mary. As always, you are attuned to the value of dialogic encounter and its tremendous potential to create positive change. Thank you for bringing up this important issue regarding the content and tone of comments. Without basic civility no meaningful exchange of ideas is possible. And yes, this is a communal forum where we gather to find the best of ourselves. I want to commend you for embodying courage in a way one rarely sees today. My heartfelt gratitude for all that you do, and for the guests you bring to us. It renews the greatest resource we have in these surreal times : the activism of hope which is a powerful form of resistance.
Thank you for your important reminders. I appreciate what you said about waiting a beat before barging in and sharing similar experiences, without considering that sometimes people just need to vent. This is something that I personally work on; being present and listening rather than jumping in, and possibly making it about me. Thank you for your insights; I always come away from reading or listening to you feeling better, and a little bit smarter. Very grateful.
I'd like to comment on your comment on commenting, Mary, but I am too intimated by the brilliance of what you wrote.
So, I will just quote your last paragraph:
"I also want to remind (some of) you that this is not a forum to impose your beliefs on other people. It is not a place to judge them or to force unwanted advice on them no matter how well-intentioned. Sometimes people just need to vent. Sometimes we just want to be listened to. Sometimes we just want to be supported. If you feel the need to jump in and share wisdom earned from your own perhaps similar experiences, take a beat and think it through first. If you decide to offer an opinion or an analysis and are rebuffed, don’t take it personally, rather take it as a cue that that is not what is needed. “The Good in Us” is not a place to analyze each other or to force an agenda on anyone. This is a community in which we can share only if the space to do so remains safe. And keeping it safe is up to all of us."
I’ve been a wreck and have made thoughtless comments for which I’m terribly sorry. My excuse is the pain I am dealing with and the news I received on Friday that I have cancer.
Well said. Cruelty doesn't achieve anything except itself. Never a justifiable way to make a point.
(Also, I always feel very comfortable commenting because I know absolutely nothing at all, and everyone knows it. And I don't have beliefs, because that would involve knowing something, and I'll never disagree with anyone for the same reason. I do have an agenda, but it's completely empty. As is my head. Thanks.)
A safe space to comment is much appreciated! Thank you!
Thank you for your comment on commenting. People do need to think things through and you don't always have to comment when you disagree with someone else.
My motto is “Be the person/friend you would want to have show up in your life at any given point.”
Happy or sad, we all need grace and a shoulder to cry on...
I’ve seen quite a bit of opinions here some of which concern me For a while now I have taken a break from Twitter and decided that a deep dive into educating myself along with traveling to visit friends family and of course my work has payed dividends I’ve learned that through listening to others is all one can do in this time that some people are beyond the point of no return that it isn’t okay to be loud toxic and mean A lot of people I’ve come in contact with in my daily travels and social interactions don’t even realize the bias that shows in their comments So I try not to take it personal and say to myself your trying to hard even at just wanting to find new possibilities or meaningful ways to form new acquaintances now more than ever I am reticent However I am hopeful I’m always hopeful What all this boils down to for me is everyday life how get on in our day to day how we choose who we choose and what lesson we learn At some point in each of our lives what matters most is how we treat each other This has been a deeply moving time in my life for I have won then lost and found self care self control therapy and healing I’m no longer offended by people who say to me what do you do as to take measures of my life my work in comparison to theirs I’m me and you are you if we find ourselves on a happy medium then that’s a good place . That’s where we find The Good in Us
Mary, I am so grateful for your insight and common sense, as well as that of the Nerd Avengers. Such a great group of intelligent people who know what they are talking about. The only good thing to come out of your uncle’s attempted takeover of all we hold dear is that we get your wisdom and humanity.
I find it supremely interesting, that the writers who are currently shaping public square discourse, are women..... Beautifully strong, rapier sharp intellect & cellular level kindness. Joyce Vance, Roxane Gay, E. Jean & of course, Mary. I am soooo grateful that it is their voices I hear each day, with gentle reminders, that first & foremost, we are human beings, sharing a common experience, in an intimate space. With gratitude.
Love the title and the reminder to think before we type! CIVIL DISCOURSE ONLY.
Thanks, Mary. Appreciate your thoughtfulness on keeping this a respectful space. Have a good night.
Hello Maureen I want to send you positive vibes for healing and well wishes for you I’ve always enjoy our conversations here from day one No need to apologize
Thank you, Mary. Take Care. 💙
Now that I've met my new doctor I feel he will be good for me, even if things don't go too right. His immediate response was to ask me all about it and to explain what he will be looking for, what my history is, etc. He talks with his patient, and he is not in a hurry. Thanks everyone for your comments. It really helped.
Thank you Mary. As always, you are attuned to the value of dialogic encounter and its tremendous potential to create positive change. Thank you for bringing up this important issue regarding the content and tone of comments. Without basic civility no meaningful exchange of ideas is possible. And yes, this is a communal forum where we gather to find the best of ourselves. I want to commend you for embodying courage in a way one rarely sees today. My heartfelt gratitude for all that you do, and for the guests you bring to us. It renews the greatest resource we have in these surreal times : the activism of hope which is a powerful form of resistance.
Thank you for your important reminders. I appreciate what you said about waiting a beat before barging in and sharing similar experiences, without considering that sometimes people just need to vent. This is something that I personally work on; being present and listening rather than jumping in, and possibly making it about me. Thank you for your insights; I always come away from reading or listening to you feeling better, and a little bit smarter. Very grateful.